my comforter will only fit a single bed, yet i want a double bed next year. this conversation ensues:
sam:
well if the covers still fit you should keep them since they're so flippin cool.
me:
or just not have fitting covers. just enough for me! tough luck for whatever fucker ends up there.
sam:
you should totally do that! i absolutely love it.
me:
me too. it shows my willingness to hook up, but my desire for a boy to leave immediately after said hook up ends. hook ups=good, commitment=bad.
sam:
it establishes you as the head honcho. the alpha dog. and it lets you know who are the assholes when they try to steal your comfort.
me:
like who would be dating material...IFF they were good in bed and didn't steal my covers.
sam:
basically. this is the first of many tests.
me:
others include slaying a dragon (not mythological), and allowing me unicorn rides whenever i please (also not mythological).
sam:
and serving you stoned carries from the holy grail. and he must be able to recite bnl lyrics on the spot?
me:
i thought those where givens. by yes, those as well. no holy grail...no geneva.
sam:
one day things like a unicorn and a dragon and holy grail will magically appear and some non-cover stealing hookup from the night before is going to manage whilst hungover to appropriately slay, ride, or serve with said objects. then you will be wed. i will recite this at your wedding.
me:
i will record this somewhere. perhaps my newly used blog so it will be documented properly.
